In my family, I am known as the Dessert Queen.  I’ve never been the mom to have homemade cookies waiting warm for the “kiddies” once they came off the bus.  Screw that!  If I wasn’t working a 13 hour shift I was taking a nap to recover from one.  But nevertheless, when it came time for a gathering or party, I was always assigned the desserts.  I’m not talking, bring ONE dessert…I’m talking I AM the one and only dessert bringer.  Some say it’s because my ability to cook a steak will leave you chewing till next Tuesday, but I think they’re just jealous.  Either way, no fake brownies from a box here.  As if…

Recently I’ve tried to get my shit together regarding my health and eating lifestyle, more protein, less carbs.  And my girls have gotten older so the need for baked items has significantly decreased.  Thank God, because I am one of those bakers that makes three to four batches of any one-thing so that the batch I eat while baking won’t be missed.  Dough or DONE, doesn’t matter.  It’s my KRYPTONITE!

So of course with my niece graduating college, the request came for the dessert queen to don her crown and get to work.  I was pumped!  It’s been a while since I cranked out various cookies to fill trays that people will ooooohhhh and aaaaaahhhhh over.  And I thought my willpower was so much better.  I’m in control, I can handle it.  As long as I don’t have a TASTE, I’m good.  It’s that first bite that kills me.  It literally sets up a chemical reaction in my brain.  Then it’s ON, like Donkey Kong!  If you’ve ever seen the Nathan’s Hotdog Eating Contest at Coney Island,

that’s a close second to what goes on in my kitchen with cookie baking.  It’s like a superpower!  I SHOULD get paid for it.  Any interested sponsors reading right now, call me…

Anyhow, the battle that goes on in my brain as the process between a bunch of dry flour and raw eggs turns into a scrumptuous bowl of moist, sweet, meltable deliciousness should make me wonder about my mental stability.  The shame is that I thought I was good this time.  I had a strategy.  I played a Jedi mind trick on myself.  I ate a bunch of salty, high protein things right before I started making the batter.  I was ready, I was solid, I was in control!  Smart right?!?!

Until…I licked…the spoon…WHY did I LICK the SPOON! 

I’d love to pursue this guilt ridden blog further but I gotta go make more cookies for the party.  While I’m at it I might as well grab a beer.  No sense wasting a good train-off-the-tracks moment.  Let’s see what the MyFitnessPal Food App on my phone thinks about THAT!  Rebel…